Are you Communicating in a Toxic Way??

Working as a Social Worker by trade, I come across a lot of families that communicate in a toxic way.

A lot of the times people don't necessarily understand how they come across and how people hear them...

Communication is not only a body language style, it's a voice awareness, it's a stance, and it can also be accusatory.

When we as individuals point the finger and accuse instead of question, discern, learn, and try to understand, we damage our relationships further with unhealthy communication styles.

For example, when a woman wants to talk to her spouse, boyfriend, or even friend and something is on her mind that's bothering her, instead of saying, "I am feeling confused and frustrated...this is why...what are your thoughts?," and instead you hear the following conversation:

"You never ...xyz....you always...xyz...you really piss me off when you xyz..."

Tell me if you have ever done this?

Perfect example, a 16 year old male client that I was seeing and trying to help his family with family dynamic issues would always tell me about his mother, "she always says I am not going to class, I feel choked, I feel like she hates me, she always judges and is always on my back, nothing I do is good enough..."

Sometimes we as people need to take a step back and see the bigger picture..Unfortunately my client and his mother could not see eye to eye and partially because they were always accusing each other of something negative...what followed was a very abrasive verbal argument followed by something in the house breaking...

The success I felt with this family when I was able to get through to them, where they were able to communicate in feeling messages and get their messages across to each other, so that both can hear each other and work on the problems that needed to be addressed.

When we talk in accusatory ways and always complain...we create a pattern of toxic self-fulfilling prophecies...

Every time we think a negative thought like this...it creates and attracts more and more of this thought process.

I call this "toxic communication self-sabotage."

When you learn how to communicate in a way where you express how certain things make you feel and ask what can be done to resolve the issues and not accuse the individual that you are communicating with..you are healing, salvaging, and expressing yourself in a healthy way..

Toxic exists through thoughts, communication,, and body language.

Standing in a way that is not threatening, angry, or assuming a wall...

Communicating in a lower calmer voice

Communicating with questions and expressing issues or concerns rather than pointing the finger is a sure way of letting go of toxic..

:)

Have a great day and spread a smile...